<brring, brrring>
Thank you for calling technical support. My name is Paul, can I have your serial number please?
What computer? I’m calling about my microwave.
I’m sorry sir, but this is a computer technical support line. We don’t deal with microwaves. I suggest you contact the helpline for the maker of your microwave. Thank you for calling. Good…
Hold on a second. I just bought this microwave and the number I called is at the bottom of the invoice. This is the proper number and I want you to fix my microwave.
As I just explained to you sir, this number is for computer repairs, not microwave repairs. I don’t know anything about microwaves. You will have to contact the manufacturer of the microwave. I cannot do anything for you.
That’s not good enough. I want to speak to someone who does know about my microwave.
Sir, there is nobody in this building that repairs, or deals with microwaves. There is no-one here that can help you. Please contact the retailer for the correct number to contact.
I got this number from the shop where I bought this damned microwave. Now fix it.
I’m sorry sir, but they gave you the wrong number. Neither I or any of my colleagues can help you. Please contact the retailer for the correct number.
(Shouting) I’ve called three different numbers already about this bloody microwave, and I am not calling anyone else. Now tell me what to do to fix this bloody microwave, or I’ll come over there and throw it through your office door.
Sir, firstly there is no need to shout at me, I can hear you perfectly well. Secondly, you do realise that I’m based in Ireland and not in the UK? Even still, there is no need to threaten me. As a gesture of goodwill, I’ll do my best to apply my in-depth knowledge of a completely unrelated device to your problem.
About bloody time.
Ok sir, does your microwave have a Start button?
Yes it does.
Can you press it for me?
<There’s a ding from the microwave.>
Sounds fine to me. Good luck with your microwave.
<click>