J is for Jargon
We can’t be having you understand what we do.
Jargon, the shield used to brow beat the less knowledgeable into submission. Also the sword used by the less knowledgeable to attack the experts. Love it or hate it, jargon is what makes the world go round.[1]
The field of computer science probably has more jargon per cubic foot of nerd than any other speciality. Everything has to have at least a TLA[2] or FLA.[3]
Computer jargon is used to impress the uninitiated, confuse those that are new to computers, and obfuscate the fact that at best computers are problematic and at worse, just don’t do what you think they should.[4]
The only solution is to make up your own jargon:
“Yeah, I was working on my PC last night and half of my AV outputs died. Had a look at the AV simulation adapter and found a loose dual channel trans-communication pathway. A reseating of the faulty two-pin holding plug, and I was back up and running.”
In English: “Yeah, I was working on my computer last night when the sound stopped working. I checked the sound card and found a loose cable. Plugged the cable back in, and it was working fine.”
Bonus Letter of the Day
J is for Joke
Blatantly obvious was it not?
No, Apple have not released a PHP framework for converting PHP files to applications and there is no such thing as iPHPd.
Well, there is because I made it up – International Pull Humourless Pranks Day aka, April Fools.
At least it’s over now.
- Metaphorically of course, in actuality, the world turns because of things like the Law of Conservation of Momentum – yet more jargon. [↩]
- Three Letter Acronym [↩]
- Four/ Five Letter Acronym [↩]
- Very often they do exactly what you tell them to do, but not always what you meant to do. That’s a PLBKAC error – Problem Lies Between Keyboard and Chair. [↩]