Dear Technical Support,
I would like to take this opportunity to thank you for your fantastic support. After being transferred 8 times during one ten minute phone call, I could hardly contain my excitement, but being a glutton for punishment, I just had to use your email support. And boy, was I glad that I did.
Even though I had to wait 24 hours for a response, when it did come, my hands were trembling in anticipation as I opened that first email. The rush was amazing as I read the completely scripted response. My endorphins went through the roof as I realised that the respondent hadn’t read my original email, and was asking me to repeat the same information contained in my original request. I knew that this correspondence was going to be good, but I had no idea how great it was going to be.
After a bit of “to and fro”, that was delicious in it’s building anticipation, I couldn’t wait for the climax. Then it happened, you gave me a solution. You wanted to send a courier out to me with the CD’s I needed. There I was, holding out for more redundant requests for information, and then the rug was pulled from under my feet. I was flabbergasted. This couldn’t be happening to me. No, I cried, I need more, don’t leave me like this.
5 – 8 working days was the promised time frame for the courier call. I was hoping for longer. But after being so dramatically let down previously, you had lost my trust. It would take a lot of work to regain my confidence.
Things were looking up, when nearly a week later, there was no sign of the courier. Then you went and seemingly made it worse. You contacted me, out of the blue, without being asked. Being proactive. It’s not what I expected. It’s not what I wanted. As I opened the mail, my blood was beginning to boil. There it was, you wanted to know if I had received my CD’s. Were you trying to ruin this experience for me? Why would you do it? It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t right. But then I saw there might be some hope.
You wanted to know if I could confirm the address for the courier. Here was my glimmer of hope. Once I gave you my address, and waited. I didn’t want to be disappointed again, so I tried not to get my hopes up. It was hard, but I tried to put the whole thing out of my mind.
Remember I said that I thought that this was going to be good, and it turned out to be great? Well this is where my experience became truly wonderful. I received your response and I have to admit that my heart skipped a beat. The address given to the courier was wrong! Not just wrong in it’s minor details, but completely wrong. In my wildest dreams I couldn’t have imagined this. It was then that I realised that up until now, you were just toying with me.
In the interests of keeping the game going, I gave you the correct address. I was looking forward to seeing what you would do to add a twist to the tale. I waited and waited, but I can’t wait any longer. No courier has called, and you haven’t emailed me. I can’t wait to see how this ends. So please, please let me know. The suspense is killing me.
Yours sincerely,
Paul McCarthy.
P.S. After giving the matter some thought, and after talking with friends in the support business, I have just come to the realisation that this wasn’t a game. I feel humiliated and exasperated. I also wanted you to know, I’m tired of waiting for your courier to show up. Luckily one of my friends works for Dell, and was able to get me a copy of the CD’s I needed within 24 hours – the same length of time that it took you to respond to one of my emails.
P.P.S. I would also like to make it abundantly clear that I do not want a response to this post. Life goes on. For me, for you. I kindly suggest that you accept it and move on. Accept that you have lost a customer. Accept the fact that you have lost my business and the business of my clients. It will hardly affect your bottom line, but I consider it my stand against the faceless corporation that you have become.
Once again,
Yours faithfully,
Paul McCarthy.